oh deary

i had completly forgotten about this website until it cameup in a conversation recently




so sup fools?



life is awesome.

in the past couple months

my friends mom has died.

my friends dad has died.

my boyfriend left for the marines.

i thought my dad was dead.

my friend is moving to alaska.

my friend is moving to California

my boyfriend is moving to California (no not with my friend)

one my best friends is moving back to Colorado.

i found out i have to take 3 ap exams

my grama has been in town (not a vacation)

i'm making bad grades.

i've lost/destroyed at least two solid friendships.

i've lost contact with countless others

i've decided i don't care.

i've gotten my liscense.

i've gotten my camera.

i've been madly in love.

i've been terribly tempted.

i've been completly absent minded.

i've been completly stressed out.

&&&& now i'm lonely because my boyfriend is gone.


i feel like being dramatic about it.

well thats whats been going on in my life.


peace.

i'm eating candy


and would like to infrom everyone of their names



big blow, double bubble, blow pop, super blow, maryjane.




um...yeh okay thats alll

i'm finally a happy little kid again with a too-busy-for-anyone-it-seems-life.

and i love it



so try to get in touch with me if you wanna hang out


i'll have to pencil you in my busy schedule


p.s.


i think i have a crush on someone

i was having a really bad day just down......until i saw this:

 

and i haven't stopped laughing since

bitch i ain't scared bitch i ain't scared bitch i ain't scared i aint scared motha fucka



............................................................................

what? haylee needs a homecomming dress. what?

ohh yeh

come out and watch me play powderpuff football!


its fun because i get to tackle people.

pics comming soon

i have no patience


among many things


i cant wait for saturday


it means alot to me


boys are stupid

i b single.


please no comments. i dont want your opinions

9 months gone


but yeh. im single.

oi vey

so i have this lovely dicision to make it seems

my friends

or

my boyfriend

what kinda friends make you choose?

and if i choose james. and my friends desert me. when james leaves i have nothing left.


james isnt gonna last forever


right?


"yeh i know, i know."

i cant just have both?

guess. not.

i guess i can always make new friends

&&&&but i dont wanna....

i want a guy thats interested in what i write. what i think. what i feel



i want friends who wanna know why or why not i'd do something. who wanna just hold my hand. not cuz it gets guys attention or cuz they wanna seem like their "with me" but because their my friends

i want there to be more days in a week


i want mean assholes at my school to give a damn



fuck you all

please god don't let him over do this. please god let me still trust him.
i'm trying not to overreact.


i just hope he doesn't get addicted. he's a big boy. he can handel himself.







right?


why does he never understand how much he hurts me? its like he just keeps me around for shits and giggles.

well we can all tell who wears the pants in this relationship

guilt is not a useless emotion. it helps you figure out right and wrong. no wonder you never think your wrong. no wonder you always think your right.


would it kill you to show just a little emotion when i show you so much. showing none is killing me. maybe i wont show any either. imagine it.

yesterday. i watched a dog die.


i have no words for it

and neither did anyone else.

a guy hit it. he kept going. it was a puppy. eyes open and everything. i really have no words for it.

2 weeks ago i heard of the 9 year old next door that killed a puppy by breaking its neck and burning it.

most people go "oh my god how terrible" "thats awful" but they dont really mean it. and they don't really care. cuz in the end its not our problem. our dog. our kid. its always someone else. people just say that stuff because they know they should it sounds politically correct for it to be comming out of their mouths.

this is not an animal rights entry. i'm not sure on my feelings on the matter. this is not a become vegetarian entry. only russians eat dogs. (ignore the fact that i'm russian. the closest i've come is taco bell) this is not a emo entry. this is a blank entry. because i didn't feel anything. i only wanted to cry because i knew i should. so what happend when i saw it? i called the number on the dog tag, pulled the totally fine but akwardly dead puppy to the side of the road, and kept walking. theres nothing i could do about a dead dog.

i could only think :__________it figures___________

You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

i'm scared

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR




i wannnnnnnaaa party


i miss the wp people.


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

bitch boy bitch. yell boy yell. scream boy scream. i hate you i hate you i hate you. i wanna leave i wanna leave i wanna leave i wanna leavei wanna leave i wanna leave i wanna leave i wanna leave. complain bitch complain. whine boy whine. you dont know love you cunt you dont know shiiittt. go to hell. i fuckin hate you. you dont know love bitch you dont know love. hurt me some more why dont you? you deny ever doing it. i want you to taste your own medicine. but i could never do that. what am i doing ? i'll regret it. i regret everything. i hate you i hate you. you dont know love you dont know shit.

never say things you dont mean. exspecially when you can't explain stuff well. or at all.

 

on another note. pics. that i forgot to post

i guesss thats back together. :)? o yeh so i might as well get this out now. why is everyone so convinced he's cheating on me? we look like faggots.

 

thats all folks

 

happy CANADA day!

 

anyone wanna do anything today?

so i got some backtracking to do for all my stalkers out there.

1. chris came back. diffrent. unfortunalty that frienships over. suprise surprise. i've never liked the idea that you gotta watch you and yours back first. but in this case its true.

2. mike vandenbergs concerts tonight so if you wanna go call me! i can probably even hoook u up iwht free tickets yo!(thats right. haylee has the connections)its at hardrock.

3. james and i are back..........i think.............yeh.

4. im glad i dont have a mom. i dont want one. this weekend was enough to choke

5. i love bar amar. ohhh yeh.

 

( pppiiiiccctttuuress )